Fear has controlled me alot of my life. It is an issue that has resurfaced recently and I am trying my best not to drown in the messiness and anxiety it is causing.
I adopted the “nice guy” mind set growing up. It was a means of survival for me. Be “nice” and “polite” to everyone, make them happy and they won’t hurt you.
That mind set has done so much damage. I have been hurt and used, all the while I have been too afraid to confront things. Worse still I am too afraid to confront injustices other inflict on eachother.
I don’t want to be like this. I want to be like Jesus. He sarcastically called out the pharisees, he was confident and bold. He never bent, even when it cost him His life.
This post is extremely hard to write, I feel vulnerable and anxious just having this part of me known. I pray for the love, support and guidance of my community as I face this part of myself to become a better leader for my children, family and work.