Not a Nice Guy

Fear has controlled me alot of my life. It is an issue that has resurfaced recently and I am trying my best not to drown in the messiness and anxiety it is causing.

I adopted the “nice guy” mind set growing up. It was a means of survival for me. Be “nice” and “polite” to everyone, make them happy and they won’t hurt you.

That mind set has done so much damage. I have been hurt and used, all the while I have been too afraid to confront things. Worse still I am too afraid to confront injustices other inflict on eachother.

I don’t want to be like this. I want to be like Jesus. He sarcastically called out the pharisees, he was confident and bold. He never bent, even when it cost him His life.

This post is extremely hard to write, I feel vulnerable and anxious just having this part of me known. I pray for the love, support and guidance of my community as I face this part of myself to become a better leader for my children, family and work.

2 thoughts on “Not a Nice Guy

  1. Colton, you’ve taken a huge step in naming your fear and humbling yourself by being vulnerable and sharing in order to receive the counsel of your brothers and sisters in Christ. When we carry a dark secret, it is a huge burden. You are bringing your struggle to the light…and allowing God’s light of truth to expose a lie. The lie that has been holding you back is that you are unworthy and with that comes the fear of confronting and the fear of rejection.
    God has a purpose and a plan to have placed you in this supervisory position and He will give you the words to speak and show you what actions to take. You see injustices and you know that you need to take action. Nice guys can address thorny issues. Address them with kindness, be clear and be firm. Jesus did everything out of love but He still overturned tables when He needed to do that.
    Don’t give in to fear. You have the power of the Holy Spirit within you. Don’t look at the waves, look to the Lord. Trust Him. He is with you. I’ll be praying for you

    Like

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