I’m facing difficulties in my mind today that I would like to pour out.

I have been working to create a self-run buisness for about 5 months or so and I am excited but also scared.

Questions circle my mind: What if this is a bad idea? Am I pursuing this out of greed? The main thing I wonder is: is this path is forced by my ambitions? and I am just hoping my Heavenly Father “signs off” on my new venture?

Deciphering calling and path is difficult. It’s a struggle to know where God is leading you. For myself I have wondered if God is leading me to preach, a prospect that excites me and doesn’t scare me. I am unsure if my heart is in it, though.

I know that we don’t have to serve the church or church ministry directly to be doing God’s work. Fast food worker, truck driver, shipper, electrician, schoool teacher; all can be used to show God’s love and spread the gospel. I have a passion for art (infact the art in this post heading is mine!! :)) and pursuing it is a strong force for me, I have dreamt for a long time to make art a stable career for myself.

But is it God’s will for me? Should I be having so many doubts and worries if it is my calling? Are the pitfalls at the beginning of my company from the enemy or are they signs from God to halt? Am I being selfish with my time? Am I forgetting God in this process? I tell you when my mind gets going it becomes a maelstrom of endless questions.

The best I can do and proceed with prayer and reflection, taking the process one day at a time.

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