Screaming Insecurities

11 But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?” 

How can our insecurities scream so much louder than God’s voice at times?

I am a victim of this myself. My anxieties wreaked havoc on my spirit and told me “this will end you, Colton” in certain difficult seasons of my life. Despite the fact my mind knows different my heart convinces me “you cannot survive.”

In my experience, passing through these gauntlets of pain, doubt, anixety and stress have helped produce a new boldness and confidence. Could I have received the same gifts without the pain? yes, but what I learned so clearly growing up was: “Colton, you are on your own” and I have had to break down that belief.

Growing up I didn’t have a strong adult role model to affrim my decisions and identity, and at some point in my growth I lost the image of a loving and supporting God.

It’s been a slow process but things are beginning to change. I am bolder, less afraid of what others say and less inclined to listen to my own emotions and more inclined to follow the words of God.

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